The Danger of Lust
by Bustahead
Summary: DanteOC. Yaoi. Please don't flame. It IS my first yaoi after all. I don't know why I chose this OC either...I guess it was the spur of the moment. Tissue warning. And no, he will be back. You'll see what I mean.


It is so hard to imagine that things have come to this. It's hard to imagine that I would end up in bed beside a sleeping raven-haired beauty. My eyes slide over him, taking in every little detail I could possibly notice. They all combine to form what makes him so unique, so different. The way he sleeps, with his legs curled up to his belly, one arm resting under his head, acting like some sort of cushion. His other arm rests against his side before coming down across his chest, so then his hand rests on the mattress, sitting just near to the elbow of his improvised pillow. His feathered hair is ruffled slightly and his face is nestled against the crook of his arm, almost as though it is an outward sign of his need for affection. His eyes are obviously shut; he may be a vampire but when he sleeps, he's completely human. I smile slightly as I notice the light shadows being cast by his eyelashes, and that his lips are slightly parted.

When I first met Reiko, I had never thought that it would end up like this; me feeling something for him. He stirs slightly in his sleep and I smile and reach out towards him, stroking some hair away from his face. I watch in fascination as he frowns slightly in his sleep, his nose wrinkling almost imperceptibly and I listen raptly as he lets out a small reprimanding moan. I smile. He's probably got the right idea anyway. I turn over onto my side, so that I'm facing away from him and decide to lie down for another five minutes before I get up to begin the day's work.

One might think it odd that I do not hold my partner to me as he sleeps. After all, spooning to the one you love while you sleep is meant to show exactly how much you care for them. It's meant to be a sign, a sign of the tenderness you want to show towards the one you love at all times. I used to scoff at such things. I used to think it was complete shit. Now I know, now I understand. I had wanted to hold him, and I tried to once, but he woke up screaming. He looked at me that day as though I were some sort of monster. I suppose in a way I am, and so is he, but we've both been able to see past all that. But the look he gave me that day was awful. I have never seen him look so vulnerable except at that point. I have never tried to hold him again as he sleeps.

It's odd really, our relationship. I feel something for him, of that I'm sure. Yet I'm not sure why exactly Reiko permitted me to touch him in such ways, why he submitted to me. I have a feeling he does not love me. If he did, why does he flinch every time I enter the same room as him? He lowers his eyes every time when it's just us two alone in a room. He has such a great dignity, but it seems stripped away from him and he seems pathetic, a cowering mass when I walk into the same area as him. Why?

The question plagues me. I have thought of all sorts of theories. I never used to let Reiko feed from me but only recently I have. Maybe this is Reiko's method of payment? After all, blood is my life essence. Maybe he's just using me for the sex? But he's not like that. He's nothing like that at all. And besides, it's not as if he doesn't have enough people chasing after him. But then again, has some part of him been warped by the lustings of vampire blood? Maybe he hadn't originally been like that, but had been forced to conform to that style due to his body's needs…Maybe his behaviour's due to the shame of his actions?

So many theories…yet there's still one more possibility that I have briefly entertained but can't directly face. But now, after so much thought, it seems natural to ask myself this question. Did Reiko consent to it because he was afraid? If so, then what's he scared of? Me?

I sigh softly, looking towards the sleeping vampire once more before I close my eyes. I cannot sleep, thinking about all of this has made me restless. Instead, I remember back to how this all began.

He'd been having nightmares again. They had become more and more frequent during the past few months. How did I know? Because of the fact that Reiko had been spending more and more time at Devil May Cry, and less time at his own house. Trish had always welcomed him in with open arms and a smile, always so happy to see her friend, to hear his new reports on the vampire community. After several months of Reiko's daily visiting, I came to realise that perhaps Trish wasn't the only one who was looking forward to vampire's drop-ins.

Reiko soon settled himself into the building with relative ease. He was like a feline in behaviour; during the day he would laze about at Devil May Cry, talk happily to Trish and then later on, as we began to become closer as friends, we would also talk. During the night, he would pad noiselessly out of the door, and disappear into the night gracefully. Slowly, as Reiko spent more days with us, he never seemed to return to his own house, as though he had turned our agency into his new home; whether physically or spiritually I do not know.

He would sometimes sleep during the day. At first, he refused to out right but then as his trust grew he began to succumb to his dreams, yet could not relax enough to stop himself from sleeping with one eye open. Eventually, as he grew more settled, he began to sleep deeply. And it was around that time that the nightmares had begun to haunt him yet again.

Trish, still being relatively new to the human world liked to spend the daytime outdoors, in the city, where she could walk among the humans, watch how they acted and learn how to mimic their actions and behaviour. When she would return, Reiko and I would both listen to her; I'd find it amusing and before I could stop myself, there would be a smirk on my face. Reiko would listen with something akin to fascination and wistfulness showing all too clearly in his eyes. Shortly after noticing this, I felt disturbed to find that I was paying less attention to Trish and her daily reports on human life and would instead study the expressions that passed across Reiko's face, the way his eyes would change colour slightly as he was carried freely with the rise and fall of Trish's voice as she related her adventures to them.

It was odd really, to think that it was through Trish that I first noticed exactly how animated Reiko was, how he could express emotions without saying a word.

After a few months of Reiko living with us, the friendship between us grew and grew. And so did the affection I was alarmed at finding, but not altogether displeased with. It was an odd feeling, and it still plagues me today, that I'm attracted to…well…a guy. Not only a guy, but a guy who started off as a close friend.

Trish had warned me like a protective mother of the fact that this might happen. She said it was because I had demon blood running through my veins and was to an extent fuelled by blood and lust. She told me that I could see this as some sort of curse or twisted blessing. At the time, I had scoffed at her, but now I've accepted it. Researching using books also showed that Trish was right. Many of them stated that demons were very rarely partial to gender…it irked me at first, that my mother's blood would be over ridden in such a way, but what could be done? It's demon nature…and I can't fight nature.

Besides, I didn't really have much of a choice. It was hard to deny, and I had tried. Oh God how hard I had tried! So many times I had told myself that I was simply confusing a friendly relationship with something closer. After all, it's been a long time since I've had a close friend, I was _bound_ to confuse it with something else, right? Wrong. It had all made perfect sense at first. Or it had until I ended up holding Reiko in my arms.

It had been a perfectly normal day as far as I can remember. I had been researching a little after Trish had nagged me about not studying on demon's origins. I soon got bored, researching has never been my thing, and I decided to turn to the computer and sort out my database of my clients. But I've never been one to work for long, and it held true on that day. Why work when there's so much more fun things to do? Like blowing up aeroplanes in video games? I remember that Reiko had been asleep on the couch. I suppose the sounds of lasers zapping planes, machine guns firing rapidly and the sound of death cries ringing out through the PC speakers had something to do with it. I smile right now, I can still remember this moment clearly, how Reiko had looked at me with distaste and irritation.

'Do you _have_ to make such noise, Hunter?' he had growled. I think it was at that point that I ended up getting hit by too many lasers for my aeroplane's own good. I remembered that I cursed as I watched my dinky airship crash to the ground and burn in flames. I paused my game at that point, not wanting to lose my last chance at clearing this stage and frowned at him.

'I thought you said vampires didn't need to sleep?'

'_This_ one does,' Reiko had replied waspishly. I had smirked before leaning back in my leather chair.

'Awww…' I had mocked. 'Does Reiko need his beauty sleep?' Reiko had scowled at me in annoyance before getting up.

'No…but I'm awake now. I may as well take a shower. Daytime TV bores me. It's too sordid for my liking.' Thinking back on it, I think it's funny really, that Reiko had said that when he is always moaning about how life as a vampire sucks. But now that I think about it, who am I to pass judgement? I don't know any other vampire to ask do I? None that I'd want to ask anyway.

Reiko had grabbed a towel and had gone to the bathroom; by this time I had unpaused my game and had started to play again. I was about halfway through the level when I heard him scream. I'd never heard him yell like that before, so filled with desperateness. I can still remember the thoughts that passed through my head when I heard him scream. I had wondered whether he was dying, whether a harpy had attacked him. I remember how I felt as I got up and ran towards the bathroom. I remember the lump that had formed in my throat, how my heart was beating as though it was about to burst through my skin, how my stomach felt like an abnormal weight.

I tried the handle of the bathroom door; unsurprisingly it was locked. I paused, frowning, undecided but then as Reiko started screaming again I made up my mind. Without stopping to really think about what I was doing, or what the consequences of my actions were, I turned into my demon and slammed into the door, knocking it right off its hinges.

Reiko was crouched in the corner, fully clothed but with his hair dripping with water. He was sobbing pathetically, looking blinded by terror. A demon in the form of a spider stood before him. An arachne. I looked at Reiko incredulously; in my eyes, dealing with an arachne was pretty much child's play. It reared back onto its back legs, waving its front legs, trying to strike at me. They may be powerful, but they have the brains of a rock. I really couldn't see why Reiko had gone to pieces like that over a stupid demon.

Eventually, the demon was nothing more than a pile of red blood. Reiko didn't seem to have noticed though and continued to shake until I walked over to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. He cried out before lunging at me, hugging me tightly and sobbing hard as though someone he knew had died. I frowned at him as he hugged me, refusing to admit at that point that I enjoyed feeling him cling to me.

'Reiko…Reiko…hey! Come on, it was just a demon!' I had tried to reason with him, but when he pulled away and looked up at me, his eyes shining with bloody tears, I saw something that had never been there before. He had seemed so vulnerable, so weak and defenceless. He was usually so calm and so composed that anybody would have thought he didn't have feelings. I don't know why I did what I did, but I kissed him at that point.

I immediately stop reminiscing as I feel Reiko stir beside me. He lets out a little moan and thrashes in his sleep. I sit up and watch him before frowning and reaching out to touch him. He jerks awake at that point and stares at me, glaring almost. He shudders softly, wordlessly, before sliding out of the bed and stalking off. I blink and then sigh as I hear the water running in the bathroom. I don't think I will ever get him to trust me completely.

* * *

_Sometimes…I wonder whether I was born to be tortured. It seems as though all throughout my life, as soon as I begin to feel comfortable, or relaxed, something happens, something so unexpected and so appalling that it makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about it. Like the time my parents were first taken from me, like how I was turned into a vampire just as I was finally beginning to recover from the ordeal of seeing my parents' dead bodies, like how I watched my friends get killed as soon as I made them. And now this. _

_What did I ever do to deserve this? What did I ever do to deserve having to endure the glances Dante keeps throwing in my direction? What did I ever do to have to be forced to sleep in the same bed as him?_

_I know…I became a vampire. Yet even that was not out of choice. What did I do to have deserved being transformed into such a thing? If I had been any different, I could have stopped what took place on that day. I could have stopped Dante from kissing me, from being carried away by his lust and dragging me with him. I can't help but feel angry at him, as well as sorry for him. I see the way he forces himself to look at me as though he's some lovelorn romantic. Of course it's going to be unrequited; he doesn't love me, and I don't love him._

_If anyone saw the way he has been acting lately, they'd think that someone such as Dante could never be a romantic, and they would be surprised. "Who'd have thought it?" they would ask themselves. "Who'd have thought Dante was a romantic? It's so unlike him! Wow…" Quite frankly, I don't believe Dante is a romantic. I think he's just confusing love and lust._

_He is a demon, he has demon blood running through his veins; it's bound to influence him somehow. Not just in his fighting but in his nature. He's been so easy going all the time, quite unlike what a demon is really like. Now at last, he seems to be showing some more signs of his demon heritage. But why did he have to show signs and why did I have to be the target? _

_Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I didn't have such an irrational fear of spiders. And cockroaches. Thank God Trish understood my problem and fumigated the place. To think that if I wasn't so scared of insects and such other things that have more than four legs and crawls and flies, I might have been able to escape from the shame of becoming Dante's plaything. But I digress._

_One might ask me how I know that it's lust and not love. Because when people are in love, their eyes don't tend to flare red and they tend to take it slowly in case you want to push them away or something. Dante didn't care for any of that. He's trying to pretend he loves me, so then he can make this whole situation seem all right, seem somewhat normal. If he did love me, then he'd have known that I have never been able to handle intimate touches of any sort._

_However, my vampire can._

_I suppose this is partly my fault as well. I didn't stop him, because I couldn't stop him. Not only did I fail in pushing him away, but I also failed in holding back the vampire that sleeps inside me. They feed on blood, vampires do, and they also feed on lust of all things._

_I suppose this similarity with demons is probably why people also tend to classify us in the same category. I remember how I was trying to fight off Dante, as well as fighting the vampire inside me. I lost both. Soon my senses were completely claimed by the beast within._

_But how do I explain this to Dante? How do I explain that what he's feeling for me isn't love at all? That what he's thinks he's feeling is actually the craving of his demon? How do I explain to him that our inner demons are feasting of each other and that I feel nothing for him and wish that I had been staked rather than having to endure all this?_

_Even though our demons claim us, it is our curse to be aware of everything that goes on, even if we cannot control it. It is our curse that our memories are not wiped away once we come to ourselves._

_Every time I get so close to telling Dante my exact feelings on the matter, or distinct lack of feelings as the case is, I feel wicked inside. After all, he has done so much for me. He has let me stay here, with my friends, so then I don't have to be alone and think too much on the events of my past. Or so I had hoped that I wouldn't have to think on events. But after what happened that night, my nightmares have been getting more and more pronounced. It's always of the same thing. The night I was turned._

_Hot water runs down my back and I sigh. I turn slightly, looking over my shoulder. The blind is raised on the small fogged window. I still have a small amount of time before the sun comes up. I tense suddenly as Dante walks into the bathroom. I knew I should have replaced the lock after the demon spider had tried to attack me…_

_'Reiko?' He calls to me. I turn the water up, trying to drown out the sound of his voice, trying to pretend I can't hear. 'Reiko, are you okay?' Again, I turn the water up some more. Dante grumbles to himself and then turns quiet. The water has fogged up everything. I cautiously poke my head around the shower curtain and flinch when I see Dante sitting there, waiting patiently. Before I know what is happening, he gets up and kisses me._

_I struggle; I always struggle, yet he never understands, he never gets the hint. He pulls away from me, and frowns. I shiver; the water is beginning to turn cold. I switch off the water before grabbing two towels, tying one around my waist before stepping out of the shower, using the other to dry myself. I suddenly notice that the sky outside the window seems to be getting brighter and more pronounced. The sun is coming._

_Dante doesn't appear to notice as the light outside the window grows brighter and stronger, harsher. I'm beginning to feel weakened, my powers are slipping away. I groan softly. Dante frowns._

_'You were having another nightmare…' he mutters. I say nothing, just stare at him wearily._

_'Dante…'_

_'Why? I keep asking what I can do to help. You never answer.'_

_'Dante…I…' The light grows stronger._

_'I'm tired of this. I'm tired of seeing you constantly scared at night.' I don't say a word to that. I just stare at him quietly, feeling my strength ebb from me slowly but steadily. 'Why can't you tell me? Every single time, I ask you what's wrong and you never tell me. Let me in, let me help!'_

_How can I tell him? For all that I appreciate his concern it is because of him that I've started dreaming about my Turning. Sometimes, it's the actual vampire I dream about, but now, recently, the vampire's face transforms and becomes his face instead. I may not like what's going on, but he is Dante. Not only is he a legendary hunter who'd blow my face to bits if I angered him, he's also my friend. He's done so much for me. He saved my life by giving me blood. He gave me a place to stay when I was terrified of being by myself. Is this how I am going to repay him?_

_I suddenly gasp as I feel pain tearing at my entire body. I've felt the burn of day before, but it has never been like this. I fall to the ground, but before I hit the floor, Dante catches me. He looks around wildly, his eyes finally falling upon the window. I watch, as though from a haze as he gets up and draws the blind._

_Darkness descends upon the room, not even the dim light given off by the electric light seems to cut through the haze that has danced in front of my vision. The light flickers several times, as though struggling to shine brightly, like how I struggle to get to my feet. The blood that runs through my veins acts quickly, healing me rapidly, as though aware of the awful sense of dread that pounds in my heart. I'm scared, and seeing Dante does not help me._

_He stands there, near the window, stiff, his eyes shining red. I beg him silently to fight it off, like how I have seen him fight it off before, but fate always seems to laugh in my face, and Dante bows down to it and starts approaching. I swallow hard, looking everywhere I can. I see my nightmare running over and over in my head. His face flashes before me, then the vampire's face and then his again. I know one thing. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot take this anymore._

_I look around wildly, but I see no way to escape. He approaches ever closer and I feel something suddenly flare in me, like a fire, it whirls around and clouds my vision. I know it's not lust, that's different, that batters me into submission. But this? This is wondrous. I feel rage tear up my soul, I feel my vision become clearer, so then everything is crystal clear and lucid. I feel raw power flowing through me and I know, that finally, my vampire has also had enough, and no longer will hold me back, but lend its strength to my own._

_He steps closer, and I feel another rush. I scream before I know I'm screaming, I whirl towards him, batter at him with everything I have. I don't care what happens, I don't worry about the consequences, all I know is this flame, this power, all I know is that I have to make him go. I have to end this._

_The crimson stare fades from Dante's eyes. He looks at me in shock, and I can do nothing now. I refuse to feel any semblance of sympathy for him. He has abused me enough, and so has this bloody vampire that lives in me. I'm tired of this pretence of life._

_Dante looks at me quizzically but then yells as I forcefully shove him out of the bathroom. He pounds on the door, as I exert my full weight against it, he's trying to get back inside, trying to talk to me, to ask me what was wrong. Fool, stupid fool! How can he not know? How can he not see?_

_I grab anything I can find and bar the door with it. Dante has stopped pounding on the door, he's just calling to me, trying to get me to respond. The vampire has suddenly stopped and my vision becomes hazy once more. I curse softly to myself. It seems that all this vampire likes to do is fuck around with my head, play and toy with me._

_Well damn it. Damn Dante, damn the vampire, damn life, and fuck everyone! I will not let them get the better of me. Not anymore. I cross the bathroom, open the blind and feel the sunlight burst upon my face. The pain is unbelievable. I am barely aware as I open my mouth and scream hard, barely aware as my voice fades, barely aware as everything turns white…_

_I can hear voices, soft soothing voices, I can hear someone calling my name. I feel so suddenly at peace. What's happening? I have never felt like this. I see two shadow figures racing towards me, a man and a woman, tears are in their eyes. It's my mother, my father. My parents. I smile and rush to meet them, yet as I do so…the light fades. Where am I? What's happening? I'm falling…_

* * *

I turn silent as I hear Reiko screaming. What's happening to him? Is it a demon? A spider? A cockroach? What? Anything could be happening in there, and I'm locked on the outside, unable to find out. I sigh and look towards the floor, frowning as I suddenly see a stream of light filtering through the gap underneath the door. My heart jumps to my throat and my eyes widen.

He hasn't…has he?

I slam my shoulder against the door over and over again. I don't know what he did to it, but it won't move an inch. I hear the scream suddenly die out, hear something falling to the floor. My efforts double, I feel a mixture of panic and anger fuel me as I finally gather the power to turn into a demon. This time, the door gives way to me easily.

I turn back into my human form; if Reiko is terrified, the sight of a hulking great demon won't help to calm his nerves. I step into the bathroom only to find it empty.

And that's when I spot it.

A small sorry pile of ash by the window, the blind open, the light shining brightly, merrily. I drop to my knees, unable to believe it.

He's gone…

Why?

Yet even as I ask myself that question, I hear a voice in my head answer me quietly. It was because of me. Because of the lusting of an uncontrollable demon…


End file.
